Soliloquies Anthology 30.1

By Bridget Wadden

SUZANNE 24. Has been living in Halifax since graduating high school. Cries a lot. Has a quiet elegance, can sometimes be shy. Childhood best friend of KAYA. 

KAYA 24. Has been living in Toronto since graduating high school. Can be blunt, always looks thrown together and sure of herself. Childhood best friend of SUZANNE. 

Dashes (—) indicate cutoffs. 

Slashes (/) indicate the beginning of the following line, for overlapping speech. 

FUNERAL-GOERS: 

ALLY ELIJAH’s first love. Went to high school with SUZANNE, KAYA, and others. 

JULIE Went to high school with the others. Really quite nice now, but was a bit of an ass in school. Close friend of BRITTON. 

BRITTON Went to high school with the others. Never left London, ON, and acts like it. 

CARTER ELIJAH’s best friend. Went to high school with the others. Has grown up into a kind young man. 

JOSH Close friend of ELIJAH and CARTER. Didn’t turn out as nice as CARTER, though. Still flirts by comparing hand sizes. 

MRS. BARRETT ELIJAH’s mom. Trying her best. Forgot to comb her hair the day of the funeral. 

Scene 3 

Church basement in London, Ontario. Funeral reception. Along the length of the stage is a buffet stretching across a line of folding tables, which are half filled with casseroles, lasagne, potatoes etc. in mismatching dishes (having been brought by friends and guests). There’s also a little plate of finger sandwiches, a grocery store veggie tray, and a heaping bowl of ambrosia salad. (Every character should at some moment make a point of avoiding the ambrosia salad.) As the scene goes on, people come on from stage right, where there’s a station of paper plates and plastic cutlery, and move towards stage left, taking what food they want as they go. Far stage left, on the last table, there is a station of wine in dollar store plastic flutes. Directly beside the drinks station is a blown-up poster of Elijah with the words In Loving Memory printed beneath his face. He was an average-looking guy, suburban, probably had hockey hair, 24. 

ALLY enters, takes a plate and starts moving. She’s been crying. 

ALLY 

I don’t think I’m hungry. My heart hurts too much to eat. 

ALLY starts loading up on potatoes from the first dish. By the time she reaches the end, she should have the biggest plate of anyone. 

SUZANNE enters behind ALLY. She has crying-face too, but not as intense as ALLY’s. Takes a plate, starts moving. 

SUZANNE 

People really went all out bringing food. This is incredible. 

KAYA enters behind SUZANNE. She has not been crying. Takes a plate, starts moving. 

KAYA 

Yeah, but I mean, how many casseroles do people need? SUZANNE looks at ALLY, then looks back at KAYA. 

SUZANNE 

Probably about this many. 

KAYA 

Oh my god, what’s in this one? 

SUZANNE 

I don’t know, I saw the brown stuff and kept moving. 

ALLY 

Are you guys wondering about the blue dish? My mom made that one. 

SUZANNE

Oh, wow! That’s so nice of her. 

ALLY 

You probably remember it, it’s the casserole she used to make for all my birthday parties. 

KAYA gags to herself. 

SUZANNE 

Oh. OH. Yes, I definitely remember that. 

ALLY 

Elijah loved it. 

ALLY starts to cry again. SUZANNE rubs her back for a moment. 

SUZANNE 

It’s OK, it’ll be OK. 

KAYA [whispering to SUZANNE] 

Didn’t he puke all over her backyard one year after eating too much of that thing? 

SUZANNE [to KAYA] 

Oh, definitely. 

JULIE enters. Takes a plate, starts moving. 

JULIE [to KAYA] 

Hey! It’s so good you came. When did you get in? 

KAYA 

You too. I’ve been here since Friday night. 

JULIE 

No way! So have I, maybe we were on the same train. It’s so crazy how we both live in Toronto but have literally never hung out there. Isn’t that wild? 

KAYA 

Yeah, totally. 

JULIE 

We should go for drinks sometime. Talk about our memories with Elijah.

KAYA 

Oh, I don’t know— 

JULIE 

When are you heading back? 

KAYA 

Tomorrow night. What about you? 

JULIE 

Me too! You must be on the one at 6:30, right? 

KAYA 

I don’t know— 

JULIE 

I’ll get my seat switched to be beside yours! We can finally catch up properly. 

KAYA 

Actually, I’m driving back. 

JULIE 

What? But you took the train here, where are you getting a car? BRITTON enters. Plate, moving. 

KAYA 

It’s a rental. I just need a good car ride to… grieve. 

JULIE 

Oh. 

BRITTON 

I get that. I cried the whole drive over. For seven hours, just sobbing. I couldn’t see five feet ahead of me. 

JULIE 

That’s, like, really dangerous. 

BRITTON 

No it’s fine, I had my glasses on. 

SUZANNE [whispering to KAYA] 

Liar. You’re totally on the same train.

KAYA 

Please. This is survival. 

KAYA pulls out a flask and offers it sneakily to SUZANNE. SUZANNE’s eyes go wide. KAYA shrugs. 

SUZANNE 

What is this? 

KAYA 

Tequila. 

SUZANNE 

With? 

KAYA 

…Lemonade. 

SUZANNE takes a small swig from the flask, only to recoil and gag, handing it back to KAYA who takes a long gulp and winces. 

SUZANNE 

EW! There is no lemonade in there. 

KAYA [teasing] 

Really? Could’ve sworn. 

CARTER enters. Plate, moving. 

JULIE 

It’s so nice you guys are still close. You were practically attached at the hip in school. Are you still like that? 

[KAYA and SUZANNE At the same time]: 

KAYA 

Basically 

SUZANNE 

Not as much. 

Beat. 

SUZANNE 

I mean, just cause we live in different cities. But KAYA’s staying with me this weekend.

BRITTON 

[To Kaya] Oh yeah, isn’t your mom still… you know [finger-swirl motion for ‘crazy’] 

SUZANNE [muttering] 

Oh my god. 

KAYA 

Pretty much, Britton, thanks for checking in. 

BRITTON 

You’re welcome! 

JULIE 

Anyways, I just think it’s so nice you guys have been able to stay friends after high school. 

KAYA 

Why wouldn’t we? 

BRITTON 

Weren’t you guys, like, lesbians for each other? 

JULIE 

That’s not how lesbianism works, Britton. God. 

KAYA 

I am a lesbian, if that’s what you’re asking. But no, we were never together. 

BRITTON 

Ohh. Weird. 

SUZANNE looks at KAYA, slightly hurt. 

While serving herself, JULIE spills on her dress. 

JULIE 

Shit! 

BRITTON 

Jojo, we’re in a church. 

JULIE 

Whatever, it’s a church basement. That’s different.

BRITTON 

It’s still, like, a house of God, I think. 

JULIE 

You’re the one who used to steal the communion wine when we had school dances down here. 

BRITTON 

That was literally so long ago. 

JULIE 

Can you just help me get this out before it stains? 

BRITTON 

You’re wearing black. 

JULIE rolls her eyes, puts down her plate, and drags BRITTON by the arm back off stage right. CARTER moves up to where JULIE was, beside KAYA. He looks tired, heartbroken. 

CARTER 

Hey. 

KAYA 

Hi, Carter. 

SUZANNE 

How are you? 

CARTER 

Good. Yeah, I’m good. 

SUZANNE 

You gave a really great speech. 

CARTER 

Thanks. Josh helped. 

KAYA 

Really? 

CARTER 

I mean, he added a part about this one time the three of us were k-holing in a Burger King bathroom. But I had to take that out, cause…

KAYA 

Because you didn’t want to give his parents an aneurysm? 

CARTER 

Basically. 

SUZANNE 

Probably a good move. 

CARTER chuckles, or lightens in some way for a brief moment. 

SUZANNE 

I didn’t know you guys had stayed so tight all these years. 

CARTER 

Of course. He’s like my brother… Was… 

SUZANNE 

I’m so sorry, Carter. 

CARTER 

Can we not? I don’t mean to be an asshole, it’s just been a long day, and I— 

SUZANNE 

Oh my god, of course. 

KAYA hands out the flask to CARTER. 

CARTER 

This I can do. 

He takes a swig. 

At this point, KAYA and SUZANNE are stopped about halfway down the table, behind ALLY, who is being slow on the line. 

JOSH enters. Takes a plate, starts moving. 

JOSH 

Dude, is this Ally’s mom’s barf casserole? Way to disrespect the dead. 

ALLY overhears and looks over at JOSH. 

CARTER

Josh. 

JOSH 

What? 

CARTER 

Can you not? 

JOSH 

What, it reeks! [sees ALLY] Oh shit, sorry Ally. 

CARTER hits JOSH’s arm. 

JOSH 

Ow! 

ALLY 

It’s fine. 

CARTER 

You’re being such a dick today. 

JOSH 

I’m being the same way I always am. 

CARTER 

Yeah, well today’s not a good day to be yourself. Beat. 

JOSH 

Whatever, man. 

JULIE and BRITTON enter again. BRITTON goes to stand at the beginning of the line beside JOSH (they hug, catch up), and JULIE goes to get her plate where she left it, which is now between JOSH and KAYA. 

JULIE 

Sorry, sorry. 

JOSH 

Hey, no cutting! 

JULIE 

Piss off, Josh.

JOSH 

Damn, alright. 

ALLY 

So how have you guys been? 

SUZANNE 

Oh, you know. Alright. 

KAYA 

Same. 

SUZANNE 

How are you? 

ALLY 

I’ve been a mess since I heard. 

SUZANNE 

Yeah. I know what you mean. 

ALLY 

I just keep picturing his face, his sweet, sweet face. 

KAYA 

I see drinks at the end of the bar. [To Suzanne] You want one? 

SUZANNE 

Sure, whatever. 

KAYA goes to the drinks station at the end of the bar and gets two plastic cups of wine. She’s taken aback when she comes face to face with the blown up picture of Elijah. Drinks one of the cups in one go, shoves the empty one in her purse, and grabs two again to bring for her and SUZANNE. 

SUZANNE [to ALLY] 

I was thinking of you when I heard. 

ALLY 

I really loved him. I know it was a long time ago, we were practically still kids, but I loved him. A lot. 

SUZANNE is getting emotional. Maybe fights tears, or is in some way being empathetic towards ALLY in a way that KAYA is not.

SUZANNE 

I know. 

CARTER 

He loved you, too. 

ALLY nods, starts to cry again, and goes back to serving herself. KAYA walks back over to stand between ALLY and SUZANNE. 

JULIE 

So Suzanne, your dad told my dad that you’re moving back to town. That’s exciting. 

KAYA 

What? 

SUZANNE 

No, nothing. 

JULIE 

Are you not? I thought you were already moved out of your apartment in— where have you been living again? New Brunswick? 

SUZANNE 

Halifax. 

KAYA 

But she’s not leaving, especially not to come back here. 

JOSH 

What’s wrong with staying in London? 

SUZANNE 

Nothing, I mean— 

KAYA 

What’s going on, why aren’t you saying this isn’t true? Beat. 

KAYA 

It isn’t true, right? 

JULIE 

Sorry, Suzie. 

SUZANNE 

It’s fine. I should have known my dad would start talking. 

KAYA 

What the fuck? 

The others at the buffet tables turn away to avoid the argument between KAYA and SUZANNE, who are now standing still. ALLY moves upstage to eat. JULIE and CARTER are chatting and serving themselves, and BRITTON and JOSH are clearly flirting like high schoolers. The four of them move down along the buffet slowly, and when they have their plates they go to talk amongst themselves upstage to be with ALLY, away from KAYA and SUZANNE. 

KAYA 

Are you serious? You’re actually moving back here? 

SUZANNE 

I wanted to tell you. 

KAYA 

So what, it just slipped your mind? 

SUZANNE 

I tried last night, but you kind of blew me off. 

KAYA 

What? No, you know what, It’s whatever. You don’t have to tell me anything. 

SUZANNE 

Kaya— 

KAYA 

You said it yourself, we’re not so close anymore. 

SUZANNE 

That’s not fair. 

KAYA 

Isn’t it? 

SUZANNE 

I’m trying to talk to you. 

KAYA

Now that Julie’s done the hard part for you, right? Speaking of… Julie? Seriously? 

SUZANNE 

I didn’t tell her, my dad did. 

KAYA 

Whatever, it doesn’t matter. 

SUZANNE 

Fine. You’re right, I don’t need to tell you anything. 

SUZANNE goes to start putting more food on her plate, not looking at KAYA. KAYA does the same. Long beat. 

KAYA 

Why here, though? 

SUZANNE 

And we’re back. 

KAYA 

It’s fine if you’re tired of Halifax, but you could go anywhere in the world. You could go hiking in Peru. You could live in a van in Australia. And you’re choosing London? Are you crazy? This city is pathetic, Suzie. 

SUZANNE 

It’s not that simple. 

KAYA 

Oh really? 

SUZANNE 

But thanks for letting me know how you really feel, for/ once. 

KAYA 

What’s that supposed to mean?— 

SUZANNE 

I’m leaving Halifax because I’m miserable, OK? I don’t have friends, I hate my job, the sky’s always grey, and it wore me down. I stopped being able to look after myself, and now I’m moving back home. Is that good enough for you? 

KAYA

So apply for different jobs and buy a UV light, I mean Jesus, is that all it takes for you to fold and move home? A grey sky? 

SUZANNE 

God, I’m so sick of you talking about everything like it’s so easy, like me hating my life over there is the result of my own laziness. 

KAYA 

Well maybe it is. 

SUZANNE 

That fucking sucks of you to say. 

A silence. KAYA doesn’t back down, but maybe SUZANNE does a little. 

SUZANNE 

Even when I was in school, I had a hard time… taking care of myself. And now that I’m graduated and stuck behind a retail counter all day, I just— I can’t keep doing it all. And all alone. 

KAYA 

You’re being so fucking vague, what am I supposed/ to say… 

SUZANNE 

God, fine, I’m just— I’m too sad, Kai. I’m so overwhelmed, all the time, that I— I can’t stand it. And I’m so tired of forcing myself through tasks every day, expecting them to get easier when they never do. I can’t do it all for myself right now. I’m embarrassed about it, but it’s true. 

Beat. 

KAYA 

People get sad, Suzie— 

SUZANNE 

Oh my /god. 

KAYA 

but that doesn’t mean you just run away. 

SUZANNE 

Well maybe that’s what it means for me.

KAYA 

Why? 

SUZANNE 

Because maybe we can’t all be stone cold like you. Some of us feel things, you know. Some of us cry at our friend’s fucking funeral. 

Long beat, during which MRS. BARRETT enters from stage right. KAYA and SUZANNE become aware of her and break their standoff to watch her as she takes a plate, puts a couple things on it, but looks confused, unsure. She is scattered, heartbroken. 

SUZANNE 

Hi Mrs. Barrett. 

MRS. BARRETT 

Oh, hi girls. Susan, good to see you. And… Adelaide, yes? 

KAYA 

It’s Kaya, Mrs. Barrett. 

MRS. BARRETT 

Of course, of course. Look at you, you’re so grown up! I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time with names today. There are so many new faces. And old ones, too. 

SUZANNE 

So many people loved him. It was a really nice service. 

MRS. BARRETT 

Yes, I guess it was. The flowers were starting to brown a little, I’ll have to call and complain. 

SUZANNE 

I’m sure someone else can handle that for you. 

MRS. BARRETT 

Well Carter’s been an angel this past week. He helped David and I organize this whole day. Poor boy, he’s in so much pain. Oh, Carter, come over here honey. Won’t you? 

CARTER approaches from where he was standing with JULIE along the back wall. JULIE follows. Seeing them, JOSH, BRITTON, and ALLY follow as well.

MRS. BARRETT 

Oh, look at you all. Gosh, I remember when you were so little. All the way down here. Your little heads of hair, always messy, always running around the playground. Sweet Ally, you’ve been in our house so many times, I remember when Elijah used to ask for money so he could take you out for dinner dates. You were so good to him, the two of you together were just the picture of first love. Oh, the way he would smile when he talked about you. And Carter, Josh, the two of you were always there for him. Always. You ate all our food, and I know you used to smoke in the basement, but you were always there. Oh, I love you like you were my own. God, you all look so beautiful. Elijah was beautiful too, wasn’t he? He was so good, so bright. And I thank you all so much for being here, thank you, thank you, thank you, but god I wish I didn’t have to see you all today. Like this. Oh, god. Oh my god. I miss him. I miss him so much. My boy. 

CARTER is unable to speak. ALLY, crying, goes towards MRS. BARRETT and they hug for a long time. SUZANNE is moved by MRS. BARRETT’s speech. KAYA is too, and starts to cry for the first time since she heard Elijah had passed. She is shy about it, trying to hide it. The group comes closer to be with each other and MRS. BARRETT. KAYA breaks away from the group to go to the wine station. This catches SUZANNE’s eye, who looks over and sees that KAYA is crying. Meanwhile, KAYA downs another two glasses, and drinks from her flask. SUZANNE keeps watching this, but doesn’t go to her at first. KAYA tries to steady her crying, and after a few moments it works. SUZANNE looks away so she isn’t caught staring. Finally, KAYA goes to SUZANNE and pulls her away from the group to go stand by the drinks station. 

KAYA 

Let’s get out of here. 

SUZANNE 

What? 

KAYA 

Come on, please? Let’s go drink in the park or something. 

SUZANNE 

Kaya, today’s been so… much. 

KAYA 

Exactly, we need to get out of our own heads. 

SUZANNE

That’s not what I/ meant. 

KAYA 

I need to go. I need to lie in some shitty, polluted field, and feed shit to squirrels, and get so drunk that I know my entire body’s gonna hurt in the morning. 

Beat. 

KAYA 

Please? Please, Suzy. 

SUZANNE 

Fine. Let’s go. 

KAYA lunges to hug SUZANNE. KAYA takes her hand, and they exit stage left. Lights down.