Soliloquies Anthology 30.1

By Micaela Day

Oct 3, 2025: An interview between me and my ex via phone call. Below is the transcript of our conversation. 

So, as I mentioned before, I want this to be a creative work, so that means whatever happens in the call, I might fuck around with it. I won’t do anything to make you seem terrible, but for sure, it’ll be different. 

You can do anything that makes me funnier, or the situation funnier, or more interesting. You can do anything you want.

You have creative faith in me?

I have so much creative faith in you. I love not knowing the subject of this interview. (laughs)

So the thing is there’s no subject, I’m just trying to build content out of our relationship. Does that make sense?

That’s awesome. Yeah, I am a tool for you. 

What’s your job right now? 

I still am the artistic producer for REDACTED. Also sometimes I do films, and I’m a PA (Productions Assistant). Sometimes I help random theatre companies do their jobs. I’m still always walking dogs, and I move things with my truck for money. 

How are the dogs? 

They’re very good. They’ve been barking non-stop for a couple weeks now. 

I was gonna say. Your background sounds energetic. 

Maverick is very good. He has a lump on his nose that needs to be taken off cuz it’s cancerous. So that’s coming off. I get to see him in two hours, we’ll probably go for a hike. 

What was the last animal you got to pet? Was it Ginger? 

It wasn’t actually, I haven’t gotten to see her in a couple weeks. There was this period where REDACTED was disappearing to a new state every few weeks so I’d watch her for a couple days. He’s been disappearing less lately. 

The last animal I petted was this orange cat who hangs out on the sidewalk near my apartment. I don’t typically pet the cats at first, just to see if they’ll like me. But the other day, a girl was walking in the opposite direction towards him, and she out of nowhere crouched, and she was so fast that the cat was surprised by it. She completely had his face in her hands, she petted him for two seconds, and walked away. And when I saw that I felt like I needed to get on that game too. 

Have you watched Twin Peaks? 

No. The only David Lynch media I’ve ever seen was the time I watched Eraserhead with REDACTED and REDACTED. 

(pause) oh. 

But I did like it, like it was a good movie. 

Did you feel like it amplified anything for you that night? 

Honestly, I really commended them for the film choice. Cuz it’s maybe the least sexy movie someone could ever pick, especially for a threesome. And they texted in advance to say what we were watching, so they were clearly banking on Eraserhead. 

There are much better choices. 

There definitely are. But what’s interesting is that Eraserhead has been the pull movie for maybe five different people I know. And it’s never been successful. 

It’s never succeeded any of the times? 

Yeah I’ve had other people tell stories where they went over to someone’s place, and they watched Eraserhead, and they didn’t end up hooking up. Cuz it’s not a sexy movie. But this is like a constantly recurring thing. 

Yeah, like Blue Velvet is sexy, they could have chosen that. 

Yeah, or Mulholland Drive is sexy I’ve heard. 

Or The Lost Highway.

I recently went to this event at Cinema L’Amour. And the event was basically: REDACTED got dommed on stage by these two identical twin musicians, and then there was a Wild at Heart screening, and then a rave. It was a good event, bad crowd, though. Like I’m not like—Sorry, one sec, the wind’s getting so bad.

Like I’m not entirely against men.

(Laughs) 

But a bad quality they have is they’ll go to these events and break dress code with their baseball hats and their black tee shirts, and they’ll get on the dance floor and just stand there. They’ll try to talk to you while you’re dancing. 

Yeah no, just let people get down. Don’t go yelling into their ear. 

Especially when the dance floor is tiny, like go have your conversation somewhere with more space. 

What was your last tarot reading? 

It was 2-3 weeks ago, and I pulled out the Two of Cups. Which is a harmonious union. And I did it about someone.

Were those the results you wanted? 

I felt comfortable with them, yeah. I wasn’t going in wanting something super specific, I just wanted to see why it felt so poignant and so I pulled the card to see “is this poignant? Or am I making it up?” and the cards were like “this is a harmonious union, you’re not making this up.”

What’s the last tool you picked up? 

The last handtool I picked up—sorry can you still hear me? The wind is really intense (laughs), like I’m having trouble walking through it. 

I can hear the wind but I can also hear you. So it’s fine. 

Okay, gorgeous, so the last handtool I picked up, and this is kind of funny, would be a hammer. Specifically, it was while helping an old hookup situation re-assemble her bed—cuz I helped her move. 

Ok yeah, that rocks. 

Are there any habits you have that you’ve stopped taking into your new relationships? Is there anything you’ve identified and removed in the way you’ve approached them? 

Yeah, I think the last relationship I was in got a bit fucked up, and it created new habits and new things engrained in me. And I started getting really, really insecure about other people—which was something new for a polyamorous dynamic. And I was becoming insane, I was thinking “Micaela would think I’m crazy now.” But I’ve recently started a new relationship where I haven’t brought this into practice, but it’s still there in my bones. Like my muscles are reacting but my brain is choosing not to act on it. 

And I also think my humour is a bit different now than what I used to bring into relationships. And I like that. 

Do you have examples? 

Yeah, the other night I just poured a whole glass of water on my girlfriend in bed. Cuz I thought it’d be funny. In the middle of the night, like 3 a.m. 

Was she awake? 

Yeah, she was awake.

Did she think it was funny? 

Yeah, I think she thought it was funny. She laughed. 

That is different.

Yeah, like I haven’t done that to anyone else. 

I do feel like this is kind of adjacent to the time you cut REDACTED’s hair. 

(Laughs) Ok. Yeah, that is true. 

It sounds intense on your end. The background. 

Yeah, things have been crazy over here. 

What’s your least favourite pair of underwear you have right now? I was talking about underwear, about the different pairs from ex’s that you can have in your underwear drawer. Do you have any horrible pairs of underwear where you’re like “I hate this, I’ve never worn this, I don’t even know whose this is?”

I definitely don’t have any that are unaccounted for, since I don’t really bring hookups back to my place ever. However I think I’ve had a metamorphosis in terms of my taste in underwear. I dropped a good $800-$900 on REDACTED when I was 16 years old back when I had the expendable income. So while I don’t regret spending that amount of money, I do wish that I’d had better taste in lingerie when I could afford to be doing that. With that amount, I could’ve gotten some nice stuff.

You could’ve gotten that Etsy lace.

Yeah, and instead I’m left with 19 different push-up bras. So I’ve been slowly downsizing. I only just have started getting new underwear cuz I’ve spent so long trying to get rid of the old stuff. So I think right now my least favourite is just the majority of this older batch. 

There’s a lot of screaming in your background, eh? 

Yeah. I can’t speak to that though.  

I’m gonna ask something, and you can decline it, but I think it’ll be funny so I’m going to ask anyway. 

Sure. 

Do you have a least favourite ex? 

Yeah. I think I do. This is brutally honest, coming from my soul. Where I don’t like this person’s personality anymore, and I don’t know what I was doing when I did. But it would be REDACTED. I find myself bothered at the idea of seeing this person; I just don’t like them. 

I try to love everyone that I can in the world. It’s more fun to love people than to have any other opinions. So you have to have worked hard for me to not like you. 

Yeah, I was just thinking you’re a serial friends-with-your-ex kind of person. 

Yeah, I love being friends with my exes. I love doing interviews with my exes. 

And luckily here we are. 

Yes, and it’s my happy place. 

When I was leaving my meeting, I mentioned that I was doing this. Phone interviewing you. And my friend went “why do you keep doing stuff like that?” 

Is this in line with your current character in Montreal, that you’re doing stuff like this? 

I would say so, yeah. I have my moments. 

I kind of like that, that this has become like a reputation for you over there. 

That I’m just kind of messy? 

Yeah like you’ve done these questionable actions, but it seems to sort of work out for you. 

I mean yeah it’s true, like I’m definitely messy by nature. I think I do have qualities that do naturally make things more complicated at times. 

But I think you are the most un-messy messy person I know. You handle it all gracefully. 

I can gauge consequences very well. I’ll find myself in situations where I really want to do something but I know it’ll be too messy. Rather than doing it anyway, it becomes a question: should I not do it at all, or should I change my conditions to the point where it becomes less messy? Which is maybe an insane approach, but it does serve me well. 

I think this winter you’ll need to choose if you want to do messy things or change those conditions. But I think this is good for you, this is good character development for you. 

I think so too. I think it’ll be a very action-heavy winter. I feel like I could squeeze maybe one more evil situationship in there. 

Ok. Do you want me to come back? We could make it like, really evil. 

(laughing) Yeah if you wanna maybe pop over here, we could go for a second round. 

What do you think are the markings of an especially evil situationship? 

A lot of calls and texting, then really hard cut-offs. Like five days non-stop texts then three days radio silence with no explanation. Maybe weeks. Like it spans from days to weeks. I also think that being really into one specific food? Red flag. Being really into peanut butter? Red flag. Applewood-smoked cheese? Red flag. Being really into pickles? Red flag. I think most of my situationships were really into one specific food. 

Ok yes, I will say I’ve never been in a situationship where there’s been an active online presence. I always get the reverse; where it’s radio-silence for a straight week and then one message saying “hey come over.”

Ok yeah. 

I think there’s maybe more potential there. Like the scarcity mindset kicks in, where you need to make yourself available immediately. There’s something primal about it. 

Like “oh it’s here. I need to do this.” As if it’s a limited-time offer.

Yes exactly. 

And just so it’s on the record for your audience, I was obsessed with peanut butter while we were together. 

Are you still? Really into peanut butter? 

Yes. I think when I’m healed, it’ll be because I entered a monogamous relationship with someone with a peanut allergy. 

Like you hit up REDACTED again. 

(Long, nervous laughter) Yeah, ok. 

What’s my worst quality? 

Worst, to me, would mean qualities of yours that would impact me or others. But, I’d say your worst quality to yourself is something different. Do you have a preference? You can only pick one. I can either tell you your worst quality for yourself or your worst quality that would affect me. 

I want my worst quality for others. I feel like I know my worst qualities for myself already. 

You can prioritize your own comfort over being vulnerable with someone. Which can come across as cold. 

Yeah, that makes sense, that is true of me. I will say that, this is definitely something that’s still true of me. But my comforts have changed. So it happens less; I’m more capable of being vulnerable now. 

I’ve kind of seen that. The whole time I’ve known you it’s been happening less and less. 

That’s good to hear. 

And I think that says something, that your worst quality is something that I see you working on consistently, and it’s gotten better. So I think you’re actually perfect. 

I am perfect. 

I think that’s what I’ll have time for. Thank you so much for sitting down with me, I’ll let you know how this turns out, and how my life goes. 

Yeah anytime, text me if you need anything else. I can fly over there and help you move.