Soliloquies Anthology 30.1

By Saskia Wodarczak

Sometimes I need to either feel validated or get a reality check. I hope I’m not alone in feeling this way. A few days ago, I decided to re-visit the Myers-Briggs 16 personalities test to see if things have changed since grade 10. Spoiler alert: they haven’t, which was actually a bit surprising. I thought that I’d have evolved over seven years – and I’m sure I have, but maybe not in the ways I thought I did.   

I re-discovered that I am in fact an INFJ personality type, and it really hit the nail on the head for me. While the personality type describes someone who is naturally empathetic and compassionate, discerning and intuitive, it certainly comes with its cons. I used the 16 Personalities website to take the test which gives a brilliant breakdown of the personality type and there were many aspects of it that made me ruminate for a few minutes. 

From what I gathered through that website and additional research, one of the biggest parts of having an INFJ personality is the “all or nothing” mindset. I’m either insanely motivated to wake up at 5am, go to the gym, get to class early, and be on top of my homework. Or, and such has been the case for most of this semester, I’m lying like a worm on the couch with a homemade pizza. Those are the two options that I have noticed, and I wholeheartedly wish that it was the former more than the latter. Sometimes I worry that having only these two extremes shows that I’m on the wrong path or failing to accomplish anything of substance, but I also have to remind myself that having extremes such as this is normal. As long as things pan out and both sides of the coin are shared in a happy medium, it’s totally acceptable. 

As an INFJ, there is a certain inability to settle or search for “the one”. This isn’t always about romance, it can be a career or project or anything that feels inherently meaningful to someone with this personality type. Thus, it’s easy to simply settle for whatever there is in the moment, while knowing that there is always more to what our purpose is, planning and planning for the sake of it. Speaking of planning, if things don’t go as planned or if people disappoint me, then my initial drive for the project fades – which results in a quick turnover, leaving many things in my life unfinished. A sense of unneeded duty that runs deep is then reiterated: if I don’t do it, it won’t get done, because how can I trust others to do things the “right” way? I’ll just have to re-do it anyways.  

At the core, INFJ itself stands for: Intuitive, Introverted, Feeling, and Judging. We are a group that refills our cups with time alone, and may often be reserved – but are also drawn to deep interactions. INFJs focus on ideas and concepts, with a huge reliance on intuition to really understand all aspects of situations and take note of patterns that can easily be missed. They make decisions that are guided almost entirely by their values, compassion, and empathy, with a big part being how their actions might directly affect others – it’s a battle between the heart and the head. Judgement leads to organization, firm decision-making, and a drive to achieve goals. 

However, like most things, there is always a downside. INFJs can quickly become defensive, dismissive, and overly self-critical. Perfectionism runs rampant. Because INFJs are natural givers, it’s very easy for them to feel solely responsible for other people’s feelings – especially with that natural empathy, they quickly tune into the emotions of those around them and try to maintain peace and harmony. Although we are great listeners, it gets exhausting. It can become quite the loop.

The personality type constantly toes the line between a blessing and a curse. While I find that doing the MBTI test was entertaining, it has now left me feeling both understood yet insanely humbled. 

I have never felt more validated, but insanely scrutinized, in my life.