Soliloquies Anthology 30.1

By Saskia Wodarczak

In a world revolving around social media, people are constantly pushing to be seen. The new “cool” should not be that inherent need to be seen. We are not obligated to exist to the public. 

I’m a strong believer in the evil eye. Since I was very small, I remember my mom calling me into her room to put a small, black, dot of eyeliner right behind my left ear before we’d go out to any events or parties. She would tell me that my grandmother called to tell her to make sure that that black dot was behind my ear well before we left. One time, I vividly recall my grandmother wrenching my hair away to make sure the black eyeliner dot was there. 

I never really understood it until I moved away for university, and out of sheer dumb luck began doing it whenever I’d go out for the night. I even bought a black eyeliner pencil specifically for that purpose.

The little dot is a Hindu practice to ward off the evil eye, or nazar. It’s a form of protection that absorbs or deflects negativity – of which there was likely a lot to go around at the events and parties we’d go to when I was small. Some random person’s wedding? Black eyeliner dot. That annual, yet very unnecessary, Christmas party on a yacht, at the aquarium, or at The Brock House? Black eyeliner dot. 

I am also a very strong believer in maintaining a private life. Not everyone wants to see me succeed. Not everyone in my life has good intentions. Some people are leeches. Not everything I see online, every store I shop at, every new clothing item purchased, needs to be seen by social media.

Keep your new lingerie to yourself. No one needs to see that.

Why does everything on social media need some sort of a breakdown? Which area of the city you live in. How much your rent costs. Where each piece of your outfit is from. What you’re listening to. How much, and from where, your coffee was. Since when did everyone on the internet need to know these things? When did privacy become suspicious? Ironically, we all have the instinct to keep things to ourselves – the inclination is still there. However, it simply evaporates after a couple of scrolls through your favourite influencer’s videos.

People that we don’t even know, have become so transparent that any sense of mystery or privacy around them has died. Sometimes, mystery is what keeps us interesting. It holds a small part of our lives that only we are privy to. 

When everything, especially those most private moments that still make it onto social media, are shared, we lose that part of ourselves that was ours. Suddenly, everything is known to everyone. Oversharing destroys the boundary, the thin line that separates your public self, from your private self that is yours, that you live with, that you are constantly working on. Artists don’t share unfinished work with the world. They wait until their masterpiece is done. Why not do the same? But the need to be seen should not outweigh your opportunity to exist with privacy.

Start looking into having a selective presence online. Choose who receives access to you. Understand that your life becomes more abundant when it isn’t constantly being observed like a bug under a microscope. Not everyone should see what is going on in your life; it is private, and it is yours. Maybe it’s just me, but maintaining as much privacy as possible within an over-scrutinizing world brings far more satisfaction, and dare I say validation, than any amount of likes or comments on social media. 

Privacy is power – and it’s the power you can control. Use it wisely.